In another post, we’ll look at the cardinal virtues (justice, prudence, temperance, and fortitude) and a list of examples of sub-virtues. These cardinal virtues are the core virtues at the root of all virtues and are well established in traditional christian teaching. Another recent development in the world of christian spirituality are these three core themes at the root of all sins, control, significance, and comfort. In this post, we’ll examine these core themes and in another post we’ll examine the sub-vices (sins).
The Becoming Man series—like many Christian men’s discipleship frameworks—often returns to the idea that men are tempted by false sources of identity and security: namely control, significance, and comfort. These are not inherently wrong, but when sought over holiness, they become idols that block transformation. While this series was made for christian men, the teachings are central enough to the human condition that they are applicable to all people, regardless of religion or gender.
Here’s how the series usually frames each one:
🔻 1. Control – The Pitfall of Playing God
“When a man seeks control above holiness, he lives in fear, masks vulnerability, and resists surrender.”
💥 The False Promise:
Control offers the illusion of safety and certainty. It says: “If I can just manage everything—my job, my wife, my emotions, my image—I’ll be secure.”
💀 The Spiritual Pitfall:
- Leads to anxiety, manipulation, and perfectionism.
- Makes a man rigid, not spirit-led.
- Blocks trust in God and others.
- Turns leadership into domination or withdrawal.
💎 The Call to Holiness:
- Trust God’s sovereignty over outcomes.
- Embrace vulnerability as strength.
- Let go of the need to fix, force, or perform.
- Yield to the Holy Spirit daily.
🕊 “Be still, and know that I am God…” (Psalm 46:10)
🔻 2. Significance – The Pitfall of Proving Yourself
“When a man seeks significance over holiness, he lives to be seen by others instead of known by God.”
💥 The False Promise:
Significance says: “If I accomplish enough, lead enough, impress enough, I’ll matter. I’ll finally be enough.”
💀 The Spiritual Pitfall:
- Performance-based identity.
- Jealousy, comparison, and burnout.
- Using people to build platforms rather than serving.
- Shame when failure comes, or pride when success does.
💎 The Call to Holiness:
- Your worth is received, not achieved.
- God delights in you as a son, not a performer.
- Live for an audience of One.
- Learn contentment and obscurity as a spiritual discipline.
🕊 “Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” (Luke 10:20)
🔻 3. Comfort – The Pitfall of Numbing the Soul
“When a man seeks comfort over holiness, he trades eternal strength for temporary escape.”
💥 The False Promise:
Comfort says: “You deserve to check out. Take the path of least resistance. Avoid pain, challenge, and risk.”
💀 The Spiritual Pitfall:
- Laziness in spiritual disciplines.
- Addictions and escapism (porn, food, media, fantasy).
- Avoidance of hard conversations, calling, or sacrifice.
- Shallow roots—can’t withstand storms.
💎 The Call to Holiness:
- Jesus didn’t promise comfort, but a cross (Luke 9:23).
- Endurance produces character; character brings hope (Romans 5:3–5).
- Growth often comes through struggle, not ease.
- Real joy is found on the other side of obedience.
🕊 “Woe to you who are comfortable in Zion…” (Amos 6:1)
🕊 “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his sons.” (Hebrews 12:7)
⚔️ Summary: Three False Kings
| Idol | False Promise | Real Cost | Path to Holiness |
|---|---|---|---|
| Control | “If I manage everything, I’ll be safe.” | Anxiety, isolation, pride | Surrender to God’s leadership |
| Significance | “If I succeed, I’ll be enough.” | Insecurity, burnout, comparison | Receive your identity as God’s beloved |
| Comfort | “If I avoid pain, I’ll be happy.” | Stagnation, addiction, emptiness | Embrace the cross and discipline |
✝️ Final Thought:
“These three temptations—control, significance, and comfort—mirror the temptations Jesus faced in the wilderness (Luke 4). He chose obedience over comfort, sonship over significance, and trust over control. Becoming a man of God means doing the same.”
The Law of Love 
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