The Law of Love

Author: Matt Breckler

  • is love inherently self sacrificial in NDEs and Christianity? And is it more about ‘being’ or ‘doing’?

    That it strives towards altruism maybe even?This doesn’t seem like it should be controversial, but I know nde philosophy can subvert conventional philosophy and maybe you would say something like love ‘just is’ and not put qualifiers on it.I know one point that I think helps explain meaning and purpose on life, is some folks focus more on ‘being’ and some on ‘doing’. A purpose to be, versus to do. I would wanna say doing is loving and that’s sacrificial but being is just existing and something like being an artist instead of a saint.My bias is towards Christianity too, cause they say love embraces suffering while Buddhism avoids suffering. But even with this, Buddhism focuses on being even if Christianity focuses on doing

    This reflection goes deep into the tension between *being* and *doing*, *suffering* and *transcendence*, *love as action* versus *love as essence*. And you’re right: NDE (near-death experience) philosophy, especially when compared to traditional theology or philosophy, tends to dissolve hard categories. It often leaves us with paradoxes, not propositions.

    Let’s unpack this through a few lenses:—### ❖ **Love: Does It Strive Toward Altruism?**

    You’re right to question whether love *“just is”* or whether it must strive, do, or sacrifice to be real. Many NDE accounts describe love as **the fundamental fabric of existence**—not just something we do, but what we *are made of*. So in that sense:

    * **Being = love** (ontological reality).

    * **Doing = love in motion** (ethical or relational expression).

    But here’s the trick: in many NDEs, even **”being” love** results in radical compassion and service. It’s as though once people wake up to what they really are, they *can’t help but act in love*. So the doing flows out of the being, naturally. It’s not coerced.

    —### ❖ **Christianity vs. Buddhism: Action or Detachment?**

    You’re not alone in feeling Christianity emphasizes **doing/loving through suffering**, while Buddhism emphasizes **being/non-attachment to avoid suffering**.

    **Christianity** says:

    * Love suffers with others (e.g., *”Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”* – John 15:13).

    * Purpose often involves *sacrifice, vocation, calling*.

    * Even God *does* love (incarnation, crucifixion, resurrection).

    **Buddhism** says:

    * Love is **metta** (loving-kindness), but rooted in *equanimity*, *impermanence*, *non-clinging*.

    * Purpose is to wake up to being—not to fix the world, but to *see clearly*.

    * Suffering arises from attachment, so avoid clinging—even to outcomes of love.

    Yet, many **Bodhisattvas** in Mahayana Buddhism *do suffer* for others, and choose to return again and again to help. So even Buddhism has its *doing in being*.

    —### ❖ **Being an Artist vs. Being a Saint**

    You said:> “Being is just existing and something like being an artist instead of a saint.”That’s a fascinating contrast. And maybe it’s not either/or.* The **artist** reveals beauty, truth, or the divine through *presence, perception, and expression*.* The **saint** sacrifices, loves, and heals through *compassion, courage, and discipline*.

    But the best saints are artists of the soul, and the best artists are saints of attention. In other words, true purpose might blend both: contemplative **being** that overflows into transformative **doing**.

    —### ❖ **Back to NDEs: Mission as Love**Many NDErs return saying:

    *“The purpose of life is to love.”*That love may take the form of a job, caregiving, writing poetry, cleaning houses, praying for the world, or quietly being a peaceful presence in a chaotic place. Sometimes, *doing nothing* in the worldly sense, but being *deeply present*—that *is* the mission.

    —### ✦ Summary Reflection

    You’re onto something with the contrast between “being” and “doing,” but perhaps they aren’t separate poles.> “Being is the root. Doing is the fruit.”And when love is real, it doesn’t stay still. It doesn’t need to strive in a burdensome way, but it does naturally move outward. Whether through the path of the saint or the artist, love ultimately expresses itself—not out of duty, but because that’s what it *is*.

    Let’s take the theme—**being vs. doing, love as essence vs. action, and how this ties to meaning and purpose**—and walk through it using both **Scripture** and **philosophy**.

    —

    ## 🕊️ **SCRIPTURE: BEING & DOING IN LOVE**

    ### 1. **Love as Essence (Being)**

    > “God is love.” – *1 John 4:8*

    This isn’t saying God *has* love or *does* love, but that **God’s very being is love**. Love is ontological here—foundational to existence. This points to “being.”

    And we, made in God’s image, share that nature:

    > “In Him we live and move and have our being.” – *Acts 17:28*

    This suggests that our truest identity is not in action or status, but in *union with God’s loving essence*.

    —

    ### 2. **Love as Action (Doing)**

    > “Let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” – *1 John 3:18*

    And:

    > “Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” – *James 2:17*

    Here love (and even belief) *must express itself*. It must be lived. Jesus didn’t just preach; He *healed, suffered, wept, died*. Action is not just a product—it’s an inseparable part of love.

    —

    ### 3. **Jesus: The Fusion of Being and Doing**

    Jesus repeatedly *withdrew to lonely places* to pray and be with the Father (being), but then *returned to crowds*, feeding, healing, teaching (doing).

    The Transfiguration (Matthew 17) is a striking moment of **pure being**—glory, stillness—but it’s followed immediately by a return to a broken world. The message seems to be: *we go up the mountain to be, we come down to serve.*

    —

    ## 🧠 **PHILOSOPHY: BEING VS DOING**

    ### 1. **Aristotle: The Telos of a Thing**

    Aristotle said everything has a *telos* (purpose), and the telos of humans is **eudaimonia**—flourishing through *virtuous activity of the soul*. It’s a union of being and doing.

    * You flourish not just by existing, but by *doing what you were made for.*

    * But this “doing” is tied to your nature (*being*)—you don’t force it, you fulfill it.

    —

    ### 2. **Existentialists: You Create Meaning by Doing**

    Sartre: “Existence precedes essence.”

    This view flips things: you aren’t born with a predefined essence; you make yourself through your actions. Your *doing* shapes your *being*.

    Christian critique: While empowering, this can neglect grace and the gift of being. In Scripture, you’re not just what you make—you’re *already loved*.

    —

    ### 3. **Mystics and Contemplatives (Christian + Buddhist)**

    Christian mystics like **Meister Eckhart** or **St. John of the Cross** emphasize union with God in silence, stillness, surrender—being.

    Buddhists similarly teach **non-doing**, awakening to the present moment.

    Yet both traditions birth compassionate action:

    > “The soul that is united with God must do His works.” – *Teresa of Avila*

    This mirrors the NDE theme: **being overflows into loving action**, not out of pressure, but because love wants to love.

    —

    ## 🧩 **SO WHAT IS PURPOSE? TO BE OR TO DO?**

    It may not be either/or. Here’s a synthesis:

    | Aspect | Being | Doing |

    | ————— | ———————————- | ——————————– |

    | **Root** | Identity in God | Expression of love |

    | **Mode** | Presence, stillness, contemplation | Service, sacrifice, creativity |

    | **Trap** | Passive detachment | Burnout or pride |

    | **Integration** | Union with love itself | Embodying that love in the world |

    > “Abide in me… and you will bear much fruit.” – *John 15:5*

    We **abide** (being), then we **bear fruit** (doing). If we reverse it, we risk striving without soul.

    —

    ## 🔔 Final Reflection

    If your soul leans toward *doing as sacrificial love* (Christian view), and wrestles with *being as passive or self-indulgent*, consider this:

    > “The world doesn’t need more people who are busy. It needs people who are fully alive.”

    > – *Howard Thurman (Christian mystic)*

    To love well is to live deeply. And to live deeply, you must root yourself in being. The best doing flows from that.

    Here’s a **spiritual-philosophical framework** that draws from **Scripture**, **NDEs**, **Christian theology**, and **philosophy**, especially around the core polarity of **being vs. doing**.

    —## 🌿 The “Love as Being and Doing” Framework### 🧱

    **1. Ontology: What Is Love?****Key Question:** Is love something you do or something you *are*?| Perspective | Description | Representative Voices || ———– | ——————————————————————————————————– | —————————————————– || **Being** | Love is the foundational reality of existence. You are made in God’s image—love is your truest identity. | 1 John 4:8, Acts 17:28, Meister Eckhart, NDEs ||

    **Doing** | Love is defined through sacrifice, action, and service. If not expressed, it’s not truly love. | James 2:17, John 15:13, Teresa of Calcutta, Aristotle |>

    **Tension:** If you only “are” love but never *act* on it, is it still love?

    —### 🌀 **2. Purpose: To Be or To Do?****Key Question:** What is the meaning of life—existence or mission?| Purpose Type | Description | Strengths | Risks || —————– | —————————————————————————- | —————————— | ———————— || **Being-Purpose** | You are here to experience, awaken, and radiate God’s love through presence. | Peace, authenticity, inner joy | Passivity, disengagement ||

    **Doing-Purpose** | You are here to serve, heal, sacrifice, or accomplish a mission of love.

    | Impact, virtue, legacy | Burnout, ego attachment |>

    NDEs often say: *“You are sent back to love”*—but how that love manifests differs by soul.

    —### 🪞 **3. Identity: Who Am I in Love?****Key Question:** Is my worth rooted in *what I do* or *who I am*?

    * **Christian View:** You are *beloved before you perform*. The baptism of Jesus happened *before* His ministry: > “This is my beloved Son…” – *Matthew 3:17**

    **Existential View:** You create meaning through action. > “Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.” – *Sartre**

    **Integrated View:** You are **loved as you are**, and this compels you to love others.> “We love because He first loved us.” – *1 John 4:19*

    —### 🛤️ **4. Flow of Love: From Being to Doing**

    **Model:****Abide → Transform → Act**| Stage | Meaning | Scriptural Echo || ————- | ——————————————– | ———————— ||

    **Abide** | Dwell in God’s presence, stillness, truth | John 15:5 || **Transform** | Let love reshape your heart and ego | Romans 12:2 ||

    **Act** | Love through sacrifice, creativity, vocation | Micah 6:8, Matthew 25:40 |This mirrors **Jesus’ life**: 30 years of hidden *being*, 3 years of *doing*, eternal *being* again.

    —### 🎨 **5. Archetypes: Artist vs. Saint**

    These are not opposites but facets of vocation.| Archetype | Core Purpose | Strength | Shadow || ————– | —————————————————————- | ———————– | ———————– ||

    **The Artist** | To reveal truth, beauty, mystery through presence and expression | Intuition, authenticity | Narcissism, detachment ||

    **The Saint** | To serve, suffer, and embody divine love in practical ways | Compassion, courage | Burnout, savior complex |**Ideal integration:*

    **The saint with the artist’s soul.**The artist with the saint’s heart.*

    —### 🧭 **6. Application Questions for Reflection*

    *Use these in journaling or writing:* Am I more comfortable **being** or **doing** right now? Why?* Do I believe I’m **loved for who I am**, not just what I offer?* Where is my doing not rooted in being?* Where is my being becoming passive or disconnected from love-in-action?* What would it look like for me to love today—from a place of truth and rest?

    —### 🕊️ Final Synthesis>

    **Being is the root. Doing is the fruit. Love is the life-force that flows through both.

    **This framework lets you:

    * Embrace your NDE-inspired intuition that love is *both the goal and the path*.

    * Integrate Christian theology with broader spiritual insights.

    * Avoid the traps of performance-based worth or detached passivity.

    * Write or live from a soul-level coherence: *to be is to love; to love is to live.*

  • The idea of developing “Christian spirituality” is essential to the inner lives of Christians – and shouldn’t be seen as “New agey” and taboo

    Spirituality that includes psychology like forming healthy relationships by avoiding toxic behaviors and setting boundaries and transcending the ego isn’t often talked about by Christianity but those forms of Spirituality are essential to develop when it comes to healthy christian relationships and christian spirituality in general. In fact the idea of christian spirituality is often seen as taboo by more fundamentalist and overly religious Christians

    This is touching on a deep and necessary critique that many thoughtful Christians—especially those engaged in psychology, pastoral care, or spiritual direction—are starting to voice more clearly.

    ### 1. **Neglect of the Inner Life in Some Christian Circles

    **Many forms of contemporary Christianity, particularly in more fundamentalist or dogmatic expressions, focus heavily on *beliefs, behaviors, and boundaries*—what to think, how to act, and what to avoid. While doctrine and moral guidance have their place, this framework often neglects:

    * **Emotional maturity***

    **Healthy relational patterns***

    **The role of trauma, attachment, or personality formation***

    **The transformation of the ego (not just its repression)

    **As a result, spiritual growth can become performative or stunted. People “act saved” but remain emotionally immature, reactive, codependent, or enmeshed in toxic relational patterns—something the early Church Fathers would have found deeply problematic.—

    ### 2. **The Need for Integration: Psychology + Christian Spirituality **Healthy Christian spirituality *should* include:

    * **Setting boundaries** (Jesus did this repeatedly—leaving crowds, rebuking Peter, confronting religious leaders)

    * **Recognizing and healing toxic behaviors** (especially those masked as “holiness”)*

    **Understanding ego** (the false self vs. true self—echoed in figures like St. Augustine, Thomas Merton, and Richard Rohr)*

    **Fostering secure, loving relationships** (as fruits of the Spirit and signs of sanctification)

    These are *not* secular distractions from faith; they are often *precisely* how grace works in real life.—

    ### 3. **Resistance from Fundamentalism**

    In many fundamentalist groups, this kind of talk is rejected or seen as:

    * “New Agey”

    * “Psychologizing the Gospel”

    * “Too focused on the self”

    But ironically, Jesus himself emphasized *heart transformation*, not just outward obedience. And Paul frequently wrote about renewing the mind, dying to the flesh (false ego), and growing into maturity in Christ.—

    ### 4. **The Taboo Around ‘Spirituality’**You’re also right that even the term **”Christian spirituality”** can feel taboo. It’s often associated with mysticism or contemplative traditions that more rigid churches find suspicious. But Christian spirituality is simply: *A lived relationship with God that integrates the whole person—heart, mind, body, and soul—into the likeness of Christ.*—

    ### 5. **A Better Vision: Wholeness and Holiness Together**You’re proposing a much-needed vision of **holistic discipleship**—where psychological health, emotional intelligence, and ego-transcendence are *not in conflict with* faith but part of how the Spirit transforms us. In other words:

    * Good boundaries ≠ selfishness

    * Inner healing ≠ naval-gazing

    * Emotional honesty ≠ spiritual weakness

    This is a kind of Christianity deeply rooted in love, truth, and actual transformation—not just belief statements or rule-following.

    —–

    ### **Reflection: The Spiritual Necessity of Emotional Maturity**

    For much of my life, I understood Christian spirituality in terms of beliefs, obedience, and outward morality. I thought being “spiritual” meant praying more, reading more Scripture, and avoiding sin. But something was missing. I noticed that many devout Christians—myself included—still struggled with broken relationships, defensiveness, manipulation, or burnout. There was faith, but little transformation.What I’ve come to see is that spirituality divorced from psychology is often shallow. Faith without emotional health creates people who might say the right things about God, but live out distorted versions of love—codependent, controlling, avoidant, or repressed. Jesus didn’t just come to correct our theology. He came to heal the heart, to make us whole. He modeled boundaries when he walked away from crowds or confronted manipulation. He saw through false piety. He invited people into an inner revolution—a death of the false self, and a resurrection into something more spacious, humble, and free.

    Yet, in many corners of Christianity, the language of boundaries, ego transcendence, or emotional health is treated with suspicion—as if it dilutes the Gospel. But the truth is, we can’t love our neighbor well if we don’t know where we end and they begin. We can’t embody grace if we’re controlled by fear, resentment, or unresolved wounds. We can’t be vessels of Christ’s peace if we’ve never learned to make peace with ourselves.

    I now believe that spiritual maturity *requires* emotional maturity. To grow in Christ is to become more grounded, more truthful, more able to both give and receive love without distortion. It means recognizing the ego’s games, the masks we wear, and the subtle ways we try to earn love or control others.

    This is not self-help. It’s self-surrender—offering not just our sins to God, but our wounds, patterns, and false selves.

    So now, when I speak of Christian spirituality, I no longer mean just theology or ritual. I mean the slow, Spirit-led journey toward wholeness. A life where faith and psychology meet. Where love is not just a command, but a capacity we develop with grace. Where holiness includes honesty. And where we remember that God desires not just our compliance—but our transformation.—

  • beyond ‘donating to charity’:

    The main thing is being a physical material presence to those in need and a witness to God. Donating money is just a tool

    ### 🔑 1. **Presence Over Material Aid**

    This points to a **relational, incarnational ethic**: what people most need is **you**—your attention, compassion, presence, love—not merely your money.

    * Emphasizes the **infinite value of the human person** and our call to be **gift** to one another.

    * Giving money without giving yourself can become **detached charity**. But being present to someone communicates **dignity**, **solidarity**, and **divine love** in a way money cannot.

    This mirrors what Mother Teresa used to say:

    > “The greatest poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.”

    ### ✝️ 2. **Embodied Witness to God**

    In Christianity, especially in Catholic and Orthodox theology, **God became flesh**—*Incarnation*—so salvation is not just spiritual or transactional. It’s **relational**, **physical**, **sacrificial**, and **personal**.

    * John Paul II saw Christians as **icons of Christ**, especially when we stand with the poor, sick, marginalized, or dying.

    * Your **presence becomes a sacrament of God’s love**, a visible sign of invisible grace.

    So being **with** someone in their suffering is not just a nice thing to do—it’s a **holy calling** and an act of profound **evangelization**.

    ### 💰 3. **Money Is Just a Tool**

    In that context, money is not evil—but it is **secondary**. It’s just a **means**, not an end.

    * You use money to feed, clothe, or support someone—but if you don’t also **see** them, **listen** to them, **be with** them, you risk missing the real encounter.

    * For John Paul II, **human relationship and witness always come first**. Tools serve people—never the other way around.

    ### 🧠 Related Concepts from His Theology

    * **Solidarity**: We are all one human family, and we are responsible for each other.

    * **Personalism**: Every person is unique, unrepeatable, and should never be treated as an object.

    * **Theology of the Body**: Even our bodies are sacred, because they’re part of how we love, give, and witness to truth.

    In a world of digital giving, automation, and abstract aid, John Paul II’s reminder is prophetic:

    > *Never outsource love.*

    > *Don’t confuse charity with presence.*

    > *Be the hands and face of Christ to the person in front of you.*

  • the bible might not explicitly prohibit premarital sex, but it does describe sex as a spiritual act – and this is backed up by science

    the bible uses the phrase “the two become one flesh”. perhaps this implies premarital sex is reserved for two people becoming one in marriage, but perhaps two becoming one is just the union of souls. sex is sacred. this post isn’t examining the morality of premarital sex, but rather illustrating the sacredness of sex.

    “Casual sex is one of the biggest scams of the 21st century. During sex, your body releases oxytocin, which makes you subconsciously bond with your partner. Brief attachments with many people leave you feeling empty. It also damages your trust, empathy, and ability to feel intimacy.”

    ‐———–

    This message taps into a deeper truth about human connection. While culture may promote freedom and detachment in relationships, biology often doesn’t cooperate. Oxytocin—the so-called “bonding hormone”—is released during sex, and it plays a powerful role in emotional attachment, particularly in women, though it affects all genders.

    When intimate moments are treated as casual, the body may still interpret them as meaningful, leading to internal conflict. Over time, repeated short-term encounters can blunt a person’s capacity to form deeper trust and emotional intimacy. It’s like overusing a spiritual or emotional glue stick—eventually, it stops sticking.

    This isn’t a moral condemnation—it’s more of an invitation to reflection. If we treat intimacy as sacred, it can serve as a bridge to lasting emotional fulfillment, rather than a fleeting pleasure followed by emptiness. True connection often flourishes where vulnerability, trust, and commitment are honored.

  • some insights on developing healthy relationships

    **When you heal you understand that:**

    – **Attention isn’t love.**  

      *Love is consistent care, sacrifice, and presence. Attention can be fleeting or self-serving.*

    – **Bare minimum isn’t effort.**  

      *True effort means choosing to go beyond convenience—it shows intentionality and value.*

    – **Healing isn’t linear.**  

      *There are ups and downs. Progress can feel like setbacks. But every step still counts.*

    – **Jealousy isn’t affection.**  

      *Real affection fosters trust, not possessiveness. Jealousy reflects fear, not love.*

    – **Control isn’t caring.**  

      *Caring empowers others. Control restricts them. Love supports freedom, not domination.*

    – **Disrespect isn’t normal.**  

      *Mutual respect is the bare minimum for any healthy connection—never a luxury.*

    – **Silence isn’t peace.**  

      *Peace includes honesty, understanding, and resolution—not just the absence of noise.*

    – **Toxicity isn’t passion.**  

      *Intensity doesn’t equal depth. Real passion uplifts, it doesn’t drain or harm.*

    – **Drama isn’t excitement.**  

      *Stability might feel boring when you’re used to chaos—but it’s where true joy grows.*

    – **Fear isn’t loyalty.**  

      *Loyalty born from fear isn’t genuine. True loyalty is rooted in trust and choice.*

    – **Gaslighting isn’t acceptable.**  

      *Twisting truth erodes reality. Healthy relationships are grounded in clarity and honesty.*

    – **Listening isn’t understanding.**  

      *Hearing is passive; understanding requires empathy, reflection, and effort.*

    – **Dependency isn’t security.**  

      *Security comes from trust and inner strength, not clinging out of fear or lack.*

    – **Respect isn’t optional.**  

      *Without respect, love becomes manipulation or control. Respect is the framework everything else rests on.*

  • 8 ego-based behaviors to give up

    a powerful list—these 8 ego-centered behaviors really cut to the core of what keeps us stuck or reactive:

    1 An urge to judge – It’s like a mental reflex, often masking our own insecurities.

    A desire to be right – This one’s sneaky, especially in arguments. The ego hates being “wrong” even when learning would serve us better.

    Fear of the unknown – Ego thrives in predictability. Growth, though? That happens in the unknown.

    Attachment to an identity – Labels can become prisons. “I’m this” or “I’m not that” can limit evolution.

    Attachment to objects or people – Clinging often comes from fear of loss rather than love.

    Feeling insecure when attacked – A secure self sees feedback or critique as info, not injury.

    Feelings of superiority or inferiority – Both come from the same ego illusion—separation from others.

    Tendency to never let go or surrender – The ego wants control, but real peace usually comes in release.

  • loving people and using things, not the other way around

    **”People were created to be loved and things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.”**

    ### Analysis:

    This quote speaks to a **reversal of values**. It’s saying that the proper order — love for people and utility for things — has been flipped. In that inversion, we start:

    – **Loving things**: Becoming emotionally attached to possessions, wealth, status, or power, often placing them above relationships or ethical considerations.

    – **Using people**: Treating others as means to an end — for profit, pleasure, convenience, or control — instead of respecting their inherent worth.

    Philosophically, it echoes **Kantian ethics** — that people should be treated as ends in themselves, never as mere means. Theologically, it aligns with Christian and other spiritual traditions that emphasize agape love and humility.

    In modern society, this quote critiques consumerism, utilitarian relationships, and even systemic injustices. It’s a call to **re-order priorities** toward compassion, integrity, and genuine human connection.

  • looking at the call to suffer, from the Bible

    Based on the teachings attributed to Jesus in the New Testament, embracing suffering is a significant aspect of following him. Here’s a summary of key themes:

    * **Following Jesus’ Example:** Jesus himself endured significant suffering, including betrayal, mockery, and crucifixion. He presented this as a model for his followers, saying things like, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Mark 8:34).

    * **Suffering as a Consequence of Faith:** Jesus indicated that his followers would face persecution and hardship because of their beliefs. He warned them that the world would hate them as it hated him (John 15:18-20).

    * **Suffering as Participation in Christ’s Suffering:** The Apostle Paul elaborated on this idea, suggesting that believers share in Christ’s sufferings, which also means they will share in his comfort and glory (Romans 8:17, Philippians 3:10).

    * **Suffering for the Sake of the Gospel:** Followers were encouraged to endure hardship for the sake of spreading the message of Jesus, viewing it as a form of sacrifice and service (2 Timothy 1:8, 2 Corinthians 12:15).

    * **Spiritual Growth Through Suffering:** The New Testament often portrays suffering as a means of spiritual growth, character development, and refinement. It can lead to perseverance, character, and hope (Romans 5:3-5, James 1:2-4).

    * **Eternal Perspective:** The emphasis on embracing suffering is often linked to an eternal perspective. Present suffering is seen as temporary and outweighed by the future glory that awaits believers (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

    * **Love and Compassion in Suffering:** While embracing their own suffering, Jesus also taught his followers to show love and compassion to others who are suffering (Matthew 25:31-46, Luke 10:25-37).

    It’s important to note that the call to embrace suffering is not a call to seek out pain or to passively accept injustice. Rather, it’s about how believers should respond when suffering comes as a result of their faith and their commitment to following Jesus’ teachings. It involves endurance, perseverance, and finding spiritual meaning in the midst of hardship, with a focus on eternal hope and love for others.

  • where are you living? you’ll be happiest living in the present

    **Where Are You Living?**

    **PAST**  

    – Guilt, shame and regret  

    – Feeling sad or depressed  

    – Dwelling on what happened  

    – Replaying events or conversations  

    – Overanalyzing  

    **PRESENT**  

    – Clarity  

    – Acceptance  

    – Joy of being  

    – Understanding  

    – Inner peace  

    – Gratitude  

    **FUTURE**  

    – Fear of the unknown  

    – Worrying about what could happen  

    – Feeling anxious for what is to come  

    – Overthinking “what if” scenarios  

    – Thinking worse case scenario 

  • choosing to be happy is only the beginning

    they say happiness is a choice, but science also defines things that aid in happiness and are necessary prerequities, like healthy relationships and meaning and purpose. so maybe we can fake it till we make it, but true happiness involves creating a life with the necessary happiness ingredients AND THEN also choosing happiness

    You’re speaking to the subtle but powerful interplay between **agency** and **architecture** in the science (and art) of happiness.

    Let’s break this down like a philosopher with a lab coat:

    —

    ### 🧠 **Happiness Is Not *Just* a Choice**  

    The idea that “happiness is a choice” is motivational—but incomplete. It assumes we can *will* our way into joy regardless of circumstance. But research in positive psychology tells us that **context, connection, and conditions matter.**

    – **Healthy relationships** predict happiness as strongly as diet predicts health.  

    – **Purpose** and **meaning** are central pillars in frameworks like Martin Seligman’s PERMA model.  

    – Even **physical health**, **adequate sleep**, and **financial security (up to a modest threshold)** are baseline supports for well-being.

    Choosing happiness without these is like planting seeds on concrete. It takes root better when the soil is rich.

    —

    ### 🎭 **Fake It Till You Make It… But Don’t Fake It Forever**  

    The “fake it” approach—smile, be grateful, act with optimism—can kickstart emotional momentum. Neuroplasticity supports this: behavior can shape mindset. But this works best when done with **authenticity**, not denial.

    So yes, we can **train our emotional habits** through action, but the long-term goal is to build a life that reflects our deepest values—because happiness isn’t just a mood. It’s a byproduct of living meaningfully.

    —

    ### 🏛️ **True Happiness = Ingredients + Intention**  

    Think of happiness as a recipe:

    – **Ingredients**: Meaningful work, loving connections, spiritual or existential grounding, contribution, physical and mental health.

    – **Intention**: Choosing to savor, to reframe, to forgive, to show up, to be present even when it’s hard.

    You can’t bake a cake with just willpower. But even with all the ingredients, you still have to decide to turn on the oven.

    —

    ### 💡 **Bottom Line:**  

    True happiness involves **creating the conditions** for joy, and then **choosing to inhabit them** fully.  

    Not just choosing to feel good, but choosing to build a life worth feeling good about.