The Law of Love

Tag: life

  • Manson’s book about how ‘everything is f*cked’ and how it relates to hope and the happiness

    I wrote about Manson’s book “The Subtle Art of Not GIving a F*ck” and now we turn our attention to his other book…

    “Everything Is F*cked” –

    Core Premise

    • Life is materially better than ever, yet people feel spiritually and psychologically bankrupt.
    • Hope is the ultimate resource, and society is losing it.

    1. The Paradox of Progress

    • Comfort, wealth, and technology have increased; anxiety, depression, and cynicism have also risen.
    • Material success ≠ happiness.

    Lesson: Focus on internal values and meaning, not external validation.

    2. The Crisis of Hope

    • Hope comes from believing in a larger narrative or purpose.
    • Modern ideologies (consumerism, politics, social media) often provide false or shallow hope.

    Lesson: Cultivate hope through authentic values and personal responsibility.

    3. Values and Responsibility

    • Poor or destructive values: instant gratification, entitlement, avoidance of discomfort.
    • Good values: long-term responsibility, resilience, honesty, enduring struggle.

    Lesson: Choose values that prepare you for adversity, not just comfort.

    4. Meaning and the Mind

    • Humans naturally create meaning, even in meaningless circumstances.
    • Problems arise when meaning is based on illusions, fantasies, or moral superiority.

    Lesson: Base life meaning on reality, responsibility, and ethical principles, not vanity or social status.

    5. Pain is Good

    • Suffering is essential for growth, character, and hope.
    • Avoiding discomfort leads to nihilism, cynicism, or stagnation.

    Lesson: Embrace pain as a teacher and guide.

    6. Self-Deception & Society

    • Modern people often blame external forces instead of accepting personal responsibility.
    • Freedom and hope require owning your life and choices.

    Lesson: Stop blaming, start acting consciously and deliberately.

    7. Key Takeaways

    1. Life is difficult and uncertain — avoid illusions of comfort.
    2. Meaning, hope, and fulfillment come from enduring struggle responsibly.
    3. True freedom = responsibility + honesty + clear values.
    4. Happiness is byproduct of growth and ethical alignment, not external success.

    Practical Application

    • Identify your core values and align your life with them.
    • Practice resilience and delayed gratification.
    • Face problems instead of avoiding them.
    • Maintain realistic optimism, grounded in action, not fantasy.
    • Limit social media, consumerist, or political distractions that undermine hope.

  • Work, Meaning, and the Deep Wiring of Human Happiness

    Work, Meaning, and the Deep Wiring of Human Happiness

    It’s wired into human nature: we feel most alive when we’re doing. In the field of positive psychology, this is known as satisfaction — the deep sense of well-being that emerges not from passivity or pleasure alone, but from engaging with life. Real happiness isn’t about comfort. It’s about movement. Growth. Energy. Becoming.

    🏃‍♂️ Why “Just Do It” Actually Works

    One of the core barriers to human happiness is inertia — the tendency to avoid effort and coast in comfort. But ironically, this very comfort erodes us. The science of happiness shows that humans need to overcome resistance to feel joy. That’s why slogans like Just Do It resonate so powerfully: they cut through the noise of procrastination and self-doubt and point us toward action — toward the path of inner alignment.

    It’s not about becoming a productivity machine. It’s about becoming fully human.

    😐 Embracing the Negative Is Part of the Deal

    As Mark Manson puts it in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*, trying to be happy all the time is a recipe for disappointment. Life throws curveballs. Pain, loss, conflict, uncertainty — these aren’t bugs in the system; they’re features of the human experience. The trick isn’t to avoid them, but to face them head-on, with honesty and resilience.

    This is deeply compatible with both ancient philosophy and modern science: happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to handle them.

    ⏳ Science Says: You Only Need 8 Hours of Paid Work

    Recent research shows that the optimal amount of paid work per week — in terms of mental health and satisfaction — is around 8 hours. Beyond that, well-being doesn’t increase significantly. This is a game-changer: it implies that a full-time job isn’t a full-time source of happiness. We need to shift how we think about work: not as the sole source of meaning, but as a piece of a deeper, more holistic life puzzle.

    ❤️ Beyond Work: Purpose and Meaning

    Not all satisfaction comes from work. In fact, most of it doesn’t. Outside the world of tasks and paychecks lies the real question: What is your life for?

    For many, that answer is murky. But for Christians, it’s stunningly clear:

    • Our meaning is to love.
    • Our purpose is to serve.

    That may sound poetic, but it’s immensely practical. It means that the world offers us an endless number of meaningful challenges — opportunities to comfort, to create, to heal, to guide, to stand up for what’s right. In every relationship, every act of generosity, every moment of presence, we find work that matters.

    This kind of work doesn’t burn us out. It builds us up.

    🧭 My Insight: The Soul Needs Challenge Like the Body Needs Movement

    The modern world often tells us happiness is found in ease, safety, and abundance. But the soul knows better. Just as muscles atrophy without use, the human spirit wilts without purpose. Challenge, when chosen and aligned with values, is nutrient-dense. It keeps us vital.

    That’s why real joy is not passive. It’s active, sacred, and often messy. It shows up not when we avoid hardship, but when we engage life on purpose — with love in our hands and service in our stride.

    ✨ Final Thought

    You don’t need a 60-hour workweek or a mountain of achievements to be happy. You need:

    • A bit of purposeful work.
    • A mindset that embraces challenge.
    • And a life rooted in love and service.

    That’s not a life of scarcity. That’s a life of overflow — one where satisfaction isn’t chased, but cultivated.

  • Analyzing how Christians and other humans achieve their fullest potential through the lens of active accomplishment and simply being at one with creation

    This post combines previous concepts into Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It’s best to read these next two previous blogs and then the below introduction to maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and then read the analysis that integrates them into a coherent whole. This post is heavy in analysis, that gives food for spiritual thought.

    **Sacred Stillness: A Framework for Flourishing through Presence, Boundaries, and Renewal**
    https://thelawoflovebook.com/2025/06/21/289/

    The nature of love, and the nature of accomplishment and the nature of simply being at one with creation
    https://thelawoflovebook.com/2025/06/03/is-love-inherently-self-sacrificial-in-ndes-and-christianity-and-is-it-more-about-being-or-doing/

    Maslow, Sacred Stillness, and the Purpose to Be vs. Do

    🧱 Introduction: What Is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?

    Abraham Maslow, a humanistic psychologist, proposed a simple but profound idea: humans are driven by a hierarchy of needs, a layered pyramid of motivations that begin with physical survival and ascend toward personal and spiritual fulfillment. The five classic levels, later expanded to six, are:

    1. Physiological needs: food, water, sleep, shelter
    2. Safety needs: stability, security, health
    3. Love and belonging: relationships, connection, community
    4. Esteem: respect, self-worth, accomplishment
    5. Self-actualization: realizing your full potential
    6. Transcendence: connecting with something greater than yourself

    Maslow believed each level must be reasonably satisfied before the next becomes a priority. But life isn’t always linear, and spiritual insights often complicate this sequence in illuminating ways.

    🌿 Sacred Stillness Within Maslow’s Pyramid

    Sacred Stillness is the state of withdrawing from the noise of life to reconnect with your deepest self, God, or simply the moment. It includes:

    • Carefree timelessness
    • Boundaries
    • Solitude and prayer
    • The healing power of presence

    How It Maps onto Maslow:

    Maslow LevelSacred Stillness Connection
    PhysiologicalStillness allows for rest, digestion, and physical recovery
    SafetyBoundaries create emotional and psychological safety
    Love & BelongingCarefree timelessness deepens true intimacy
    EsteemWithdrawing to reflect strengthens self-worth and autonomy
    Self-actualizationStillness is the soil where authenticity and purpose grow
    TranscendenceSilence and solitude open us to divine union or higher truth

    🛠️ The Purpose to Do: A Performance-Driven Climb

    The “Purpose to Do” approach sees each level as something to accomplish:

    • Provide for yourself
    • Achieve stability
    • Earn love through action
    • Prove your worth
    • Discover your mission
    • Serve a higher cause

    This model works well in many life contexts—but it can also lead to burnout, perfectionism, and spiritual dryness if not rooted in deeper being.

    🔄 Being vs. Doing Within the Hierarchy

    Let’s contrast both models through Maslow’s lens:

    LevelSacred Stillness (Being)Purpose to Do (Doing)
    PhysiologicalRest, embodiment, mindful eatingHustle to earn basic resources
    SafetyEmotional boundaries, spiritual trustBuild walls, control everything
    Love & BelongingPresence, joy in connection without utilityPeople-pleasing, performative love
    EsteemRooted confidence from inner clarityAchievement, status, approval
    Self-actualizationIntuition, surrender, contemplationProductivity, mastery, impact
    TranscendenceMystical union, awe, worshipHeroic service, changing the world

    ❤️ Is Love Sacrificial? Being or Doing?

    In Christianity, love is often shown through sacrifice: “Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). Love is something you do, often at great cost.

    In NDE (Near-Death Experience) accounts, love is often experienced as something you are. It’s not earned or performed. You return not just to love others, but to embody love.

    But in both systems:

    • Being love leads to doing love.
    • The doing becomes natural, not forced.

    So:

    • Doing alone can exhaust or distort love.
    • Being alone can become self-contained or passive.
    • Integrated love: Being fuels doing; doing expresses being.

    🎨 Artist vs. Saint: A Vocation of Being or Doing?

    ArchetypeRooted InStrengthsPitfalls
    ArtistBeingExpresses beauty, visionIsolation, detachment
    SaintDoingEmbodies compassion, sacrificeBurnout, martyr complex
    IntegratedBeing and DoingLoves from a place of fullnessGrounded, sustainable vocation

    🔔 Final Reflection

    Being is the root. Doing is the fruit.

    Maslow gives us a map for human growth. But if we only climb through striving, we miss the point. The pyramid isn’t a ladder to conquer—it’s a space to inhabit with love.

    Love is not merely self-sacrifice, though it often includes it. Love is not just presence, though it flows from it.

    Love is who we are. And from that place of sacred stillness, we move.

  • choosing to be happy is only the beginning

    they say happiness is a choice, but science also defines things that aid in happiness and are necessary prerequities, like healthy relationships and meaning and purpose. so maybe we can fake it till we make it, but true happiness involves creating a life with the necessary happiness ingredients AND THEN also choosing happiness

    You’re speaking to the subtle but powerful interplay between **agency** and **architecture** in the science (and art) of happiness.

    Let’s break this down like a philosopher with a lab coat:

    —

    ### 🧠 **Happiness Is Not *Just* a Choice**  

    The idea that “happiness is a choice” is motivational—but incomplete. It assumes we can *will* our way into joy regardless of circumstance. But research in positive psychology tells us that **context, connection, and conditions matter.**

    – **Healthy relationships** predict happiness as strongly as diet predicts health.  

    – **Purpose** and **meaning** are central pillars in frameworks like Martin Seligman’s PERMA model.  

    – Even **physical health**, **adequate sleep**, and **financial security (up to a modest threshold)** are baseline supports for well-being.

    Choosing happiness without these is like planting seeds on concrete. It takes root better when the soil is rich.

    —

    ### 🎭 **Fake It Till You Make It… But Don’t Fake It Forever**  

    The “fake it” approach—smile, be grateful, act with optimism—can kickstart emotional momentum. Neuroplasticity supports this: behavior can shape mindset. But this works best when done with **authenticity**, not denial.

    So yes, we can **train our emotional habits** through action, but the long-term goal is to build a life that reflects our deepest values—because happiness isn’t just a mood. It’s a byproduct of living meaningfully.

    —

    ### 🏛️ **True Happiness = Ingredients + Intention**  

    Think of happiness as a recipe:

    – **Ingredients**: Meaningful work, loving connections, spiritual or existential grounding, contribution, physical and mental health.

    – **Intention**: Choosing to savor, to reframe, to forgive, to show up, to be present even when it’s hard.

    You can’t bake a cake with just willpower. But even with all the ingredients, you still have to decide to turn on the oven.

    —

    ### 💡 **Bottom Line:**  

    True happiness involves **creating the conditions** for joy, and then **choosing to inhabit them** fully.  

    Not just choosing to feel good, but choosing to build a life worth feeling good about.