Happiness as a Practice (Not a Prize)
Happiness scientists reject the notion that happiness depends on ideal circumstances — perfect money, relationships, or status. Instead, they argue happiness is a practice: a set of small choices and habits, repeated over time, that quietly shape a life people genuinely love. (The Artful Parent)
People who truly love their lives often aren’t the richest or most outwardly successful. What sets them apart is how they choose to live. (The Artful Parent)
8 Key Habits of People Who Love Their Lives
- Gratitude is a daily ritual, not a once-in-a-while event
Rather than rare, formal “thank-you’s,” these people make a habit of noticing small gifts: a calm morning, a good cup of coffee, meaningful conversation, a peaceful night of rest. Gratitude becomes a lens, guiding their attention to what’s already good instead of what’s missing. (The Artful Parent) - They value progress over perfection
Instead of chasing flawless lives, they focus on gradual improvement. Their motto might be “better is enough” — small, incremental steps that accumulate into real growth. This lightens the pressure of perfection and encourages steady, sustainable progress. (The Artful Parent) - They simplify and reduce noise instead of always adding more
Rather than piling on possessions, activities, or commitments, they subtract what’s unnecessary: draining relationships, unhelpful habits, clutter, external expectations. Their goal isn’t a “full” life, but a meaningful one — with space for what truly matters. (The Artful Parent) - They invest in nourishing, supportive relationships
Happiness isn’t about having lots of acquaintances. It’s about choosing carefully who you let close: friends, family, communities that encourage, support, and lift you, rather than drain you. Quality over quantity. (The Artful Parent) - They build daily routines that anchor their lives
Not overly rigid schedules, but simple rituals — morning coffee, a walk, journaling, a workout, mindfulness moments, a calming evening routine. These anchors provide stability and predictability, especially when life outside gets chaotic. (The Artful Parent) - They let go of what they can’t control, and focus on what they can
Instead of wasting emotional energy on others’ reactions, past mistakes, future uncertainties, or external validation, they direct their attention to what’s within their control: their habits, attitudes, environment, responses. Letting go becomes a path to emotional freedom — not giving up, but self-protection. (The Artful Parent) - They treat self-compassion as essential — not as a reward
Self-kindness matters. Happy people don’t bully themselves into improvement. They forgive mistakes, celebrate small successes, speak gently to themselves, rest without guilt, and build self-care into their worldview. That internal compassion transforms their emotional landscape, making them calmer, more resilient, more open to joy. (The Artful Parent) - They actively shape and steer their lives — rather than drift
Happiness isn’t something they wait for — they build it, piece by piece. Through consistent, intentional choices; clear boundaries; sculpting their environment; aligning actions with values. Even if they can’t control everything, they control what they can. They don’t drift; they steer. (The Artful Parent)
The Takeaway — Build Happiness Through Small, Intentional Habits
A fulfilling, well-loved life isn’t about perfect circumstances. It’s about how we live each day: choosing presence over distraction; simplicity over busyness; self-kindness over harsh judgment; relationships over isolation; meaning over mere achievement. (The Artful Parent)
Happiness isn’t discovered — it’s created. Through daily rituals, heartfelt choices, and compassionate self-attention, we weave a life worthy of love. (The Artful Parent)
Now to weave the insights above, into insights from near-death experiences (NDEs) and Christian spirituality, showing how all three streams point toward a shared vision of inner transformation, love-based living, and the art of choosing joy.
How These 8 Habits Echo NDE Lessons and Christian Spirituality
Happiness is not the result of perfect circumstances but of small, intentional practices that shape how we experience life. This idea is strikingly consistent with both NDE testimonies and the heart of Christian spirituality, which teach that transformation begins within — not in changing the outer world, but in choosing a deeper way of seeing and living.
1. Gratitude as a Spiritual Vision
People who return from NDEs commonly say everything they once took for granted was sacred all along — sunlight, laughter, a meal, even breath itself. They speak as though the ordinary world glowed with hidden meaning.
This mirrors the first habit of happiness: daily gratitude, not as a slogan, but as a way of seeing.
Christian mystics echo this: “Give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:18) is less a rule and more a training of the eyes — to see life through the lens of grace.
2. Progress Over Perfection — The Spiritual Journey
In NDEs, people often say earth is a school — not meant for perfection, but for growth. Perfection is an illusion; becoming is what matters.
Christians say something similar: sanctification is a process, a journey of the heart.
The happiest people, according to the article, don’t strive to appear perfect — they aim to grow a little each day.
That is also how love develops: through small daily choices, not one heroic moment.
3. Simplifying vs. Accumulating
Nearly every NDE includes a moment of clarity: what we chase—status, possessions, approval—turns out to be dust. What endures is love.
The article advises subtracting what drains the soul — noise, excess, toxic pressure — to make room for what matters.
Jesus said the same: “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matt. 6:21)
To simplify is not to own less, but to cling less — to live lighter so one may love deeper.
4. Love as the Measurement of a Life
NDE accounts frequently say that on “the other side,” people are shown their life — not through judgment, but through relationship:
How did you love?
Whom did you help?
Did your choices add kindness to the world?
That matches both the article’s central idea and Christ’s:
“Whatever you did for the least of these… you did for me.”
Happiness — real, durable happiness — is relational, not individualistic.
5. Letting Go of Control — and Trusting
Christian spirituality and NDE insights both teach that most suffering comes from trying to control what we can’t.
The article’s advice — invest energy in what’s within your control, release what is not — is deeply spiritual.
It is the difference between anxiety and trust.
It echoes Jesus’ words: “Do not worry about tomorrow…” and the NDE lesson that surrender is not defeat but alignment with a wiser flow of life.
6. Self-Compassion as a Foundation, Not a Reward
After an NDE, people often say they experienced being unconditionally loved — even when they felt unworthy.
That experience permanently changes how they treat themselves. It softens judgment.
Christianity at its core teaches this too: you are beloved first, before you are good.
True self-compassion is not narcissism — it is the soil in which transformation grows.
7. Life as an Active Creation
Perhaps the deepest connection between NDEs, Christian discipleship, and the happiness habits is this:
a good life is not stumbled into — it is authored.
People who love their lives don’t wait for the right feelings; they shape their habits, attention, time, relationships, and environment.
This is spiritual agency.
Christ calls it “building your house on the rock.”
NDEs describe it as “living your purpose.”
The article calls it “choosing how to steer your life.”
They are three languages pointing toward the same truth:
Life responds to the way you live it.
In the End, the Themes Converge
| Happiness Science | NDE Lessons | Christian Spirituality |
|---|---|---|
| Joy comes from habits | Joy comes from perception | Joy is a fruit of the Spirit |
| Love is central | Love is the measure of life | God is love |
| Progress over perfection | Life is a school | Sanctification is lifelong |
| Simplify to clarify | Possessions don’t matter | Store treasures in heaven |
| Self-compassion matters | You are unconditionally loved | Grace precedes transformation |
So in all three worlds — psychology, NDEs, and Christian faith — happiness is not passive. It is a sacred participation.
It is not luck. It is a way of being.
It is not a possession. It is a practice.
It is the gradual creation of a heart capable of love.
The Law of Love 