The Law of Love

Tag: spirituality

  • Major Peer-Reviewed Studies on Out-of-Body and Near-Death Experiences

    🧠 Major Peer-Reviewed Studies on Out-of-Body and Near-Death Experiences

    Below is a curated list of significant peer-reviewed studies addressing out-of-body experiences (OBEs), near-death experiences (NDEs), and veridical perceptions—accurate perceptions reported during periods of clinical unconsciousness. These studies play a central role in debates around consciousness and its potential independence from brain function.

    🔹 1. Parnia, S., et al. (2014)

    Title: AWARE—AWAreness during REsuscitation: A prospective study
    Journal: Resuscitation, 85(12), 1799–1805
    DOI: 10.1016/j.resuscitation.2014.09.004

    • Landmark study on cardiac arrest survivors.
    • Found that 2% had verified awareness during flat EEG.
    • Included one verified case of accurate auditory perception during clinical death.

    🔹 2. van Lommel, P., et al. (2001)

    Title: Near-death experience in survivors of cardiac arrest: A prospective study in the Netherlands
    Journal: The Lancet, 358(9298), 2039–2045
    DOI: 10.1016/S0140-6736(01)07100-8

    • Studied 344 cardiac arrest patients; 18% reported NDEs.
    • Included veridical reports and experiences during unconsciousness.
    • Found no correlation with oxygen levels, drugs, or physiological factors.

    🔹 3. Greyson, B. (2003)

    Title: Incidence and correlates of near-death experiences in a cardiac care unit
    Journal: General Hospital Psychiatry, 25(4), 269–276
    DOI: 10.1016/S0163-8343(03)00053-2

    • Developed and used the Greyson NDE Scale.
    • Analyzed the frequency and features of NDEs among cardiac patients.

    🔹 4. Fenwick, P., et al. (2002)

    Title: The neurophysiology of the near-death experience
    Journal: Consciousness and Cognition, 11(1), 90–98
    DOI: 10.1006/ccog.2001.0502

    • Reviews neurophysiological and theoretical models of NDEs.
    • Suggests brain-based explanations may be insufficient to account for certain phenomena.

    🔹 5. Kelly, E. W., Greyson, B., & Kelly, E. F. (2007)

    Title: Unusual experiences near death and related phenomena
    In: Irreducible Mind: Toward a Psychology for the 21st Century

    • Part of a peer-reviewed and widely cited scholarly book.
    • Catalogs and critiques materialist explanations for OBEs and NDEs.
    • Includes documented cases of veridical perception.

    🔹 6. Holden, J. M. (2009)

    Title: Veridical perception in near-death experiences
    In: The Handbook of Near-Death Experiences: Thirty Years of Investigation (Praeger)

    • Reviews over 100 cases of accurate perceptions during NDEs.
    • Includes OBEs verified by third-party evidence.

    🔹 7. Sartori, P. (2008)

    Title: The near-death experiences of hospitalised intensive care patients: A five year clinical study
    Journal: Journal of Near-Death Studies, 27(1), 31–52

    • UK nurse researcher documented ICU patient recollections.
    • Found several cases of accurate awareness during resuscitation.

    🔹 8. Mobbs, D., & Watt, C. (2011)

    Title: There is nothing paranormal about near-death experiences: How neuroscience can explain seeing bright lights, meeting the dead, or being convinced you are one of them
    Journal: Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 15(10), 447–449
    DOI: 10.1016/j.tics.2011.07.010

    • Presents skeptical, brain-based interpretations of NDEs.
    • Argues against supernatural or dualist explanations.
    • Offers a critical counterbalance to other studies.

    🔹 9. Nelson, K. R., et al. (2006)

    Title: Does the arousal system contribute to near-death experience?
    Journal: Neurology, 66(7), 1003–1009
    DOI: 10.1212/01.wnl.0000203258.90676.4c

    • Links NDEs to REM intrusion and temporal lobe activity.
    • Supports materialist models rooted in neurophysiology.

    📚 Bonus: AWARE II (Ongoing)

    • Continuation of the original AWARE study.
    • Incorporates visual and auditory targets, EEG monitoring, and patient interviews.
    • Preliminary findings suggest further cases of veridical perception.
    • Full results pending publication.

  • Some reflections on the illusion of separation of humans from God and creation: from Christian mystics, eastern Christianity, and those who have visited the afterlife

    🕊️ The Hidden Union: Christian Mysticism

    One of the most profound insights of Christian mysticism is this: union with God was never truly lost — only hidden.

    Mystics such as St. John of the Cross, Meister Eckhart, and St. Teresa of Avila describe the spiritual journey not as a quest to acquire something new, but as an unveiling of what has always been present: God’s indwelling presence in the soul. They teach that the sense of separation from God is an illusion born of ego, sin, distraction, or forgetfulness — not an ontological fact.

    Let’s explore how this insight unfolds through the voices of the mystics, then trace its reflection in Eastern Orthodoxy and near-death experience (NDE) accounts.

    🌑 St. John of the Cross (1542–1591)

    Theme: Hidden Union — The Dark Night Reveals the Light

    St. John of the Cross’s mystical theology reveals that God is already present in the soul, though often veiled. His well-known concept of the dark night of the soul is not about abandonment, but purification — a stripping away that allows the soul to perceive the hidden union more clearly.

    “The soul… is never without God, but God is not always with the soul through grace.”
    — Spiritual Canticle, Stanza 12

    “God is like the air we breathe: always present, but we only feel it when everything else is removed.”
    — Ascent of Mount Carmel

    “The soul… though He is within her, does not possess Him fully… The soul must go forth from itself, inwardly and outwardly, in order to enter into this divine union.”
    — The Living Flame of Love

    🌌 Meister Eckhart (c. 1260–1328)

    Theme: The Ground of the Soul is God

    Meister Eckhart boldly proclaimed that the core of the soul is already one with God — a depth he called the Seelengrund, or “ground of the soul.” His vision of spirituality focuses on stripping away illusion and ego to perceive the divine already within.

    “The eye with which I see God is the same eye with which God sees me.”
    — Sermon 16

    “God is at home, it is we who have gone out for a walk.”
    — Sermon on Luke 10:38-42

    “You need not seek Him here or there, for He is no further than the door of your heart.”
    — German Sermons

    “There is nothing so much like God as silence.”
    — In the stillness beyond ego and intellect, the eternal union is revealed.

    🏰 St. Teresa of Avila (1515–1582)

    Theme: The Interior Castle — God Dwells Within

    St. Teresa’s Interior Castle maps the soul’s inner world as a mansion with many rooms. At its center lies God. Her mysticism calls not for reaching outward, but journeying inward to discover the divine already present.

    “All the harm comes from not truly understanding that God is near, but rather imagining Him far away.”
    — Interior Castle, First Mansions

    “The soul… need not go far to find God. Nor need she raise her voice. For God is nearer to us than we are to ourselves.”
    — Interior Castle, Fourth Mansions

    “It is foolish to think that we will enter heaven without entering into ourselves.”
    — Way of Perfection

    ✨ Summary: The Illusion of Separation

    Across centuries and cultures, Christian mystics declare the same truth:

    • God is not absent; the soul is distracted or veiled.
    • Union with God is our original state.
    • Spiritual growth is about removing what blocks our awareness of this truth.

    This view is echoed in the writings of modern contemplatives like Thomas Merton, Richard Rohr, and Cynthia Bourgeault, who remind us that the spiritual path is not toward union, but toward the realization that union is already present.

    🕊️ Eastern Orthodoxy: Union Hidden, Not Lost

    Eastern Orthodox theology revolves around theosis — the gradual transformation of the human person into the likeness of God. It teaches that God dwells in the soul from the beginning, and that sin and ego only obscure this presence. Like the mystics, Orthodoxy sees the spiritual journey as awakening to what is already within.

    🔹 St. Gregory of Nyssa (4th c.)

    “The divine is in everything by essence and power… The soul, purified, returns to its natural beauty, and in that beauty, God is seen.”
    — On the Soul and Resurrection

    🔹 St. Maximus the Confessor (7th c.)

    “The Logos became man so that man might become God… God and the soul are not distant — only the passions make us feel far.”
    — Ambigua

    🔹 St. Seraphim of Sarov (18th c.)

    “Acquire the Spirit of Peace, and a thousand around you will be saved… The true aim of the Christian life is the acquisition of the Holy Spirit.”

    In his famous conversation with Motovilov in the snowy forest, Seraphim said:

    “We are in God, and God is in us… Do you not feel the peace and joy? That is the Holy Spirit within you.”

    🔹 The Philokalia (Orthodox mystical writings)

    The Philokalia teaches repeatedly that God is already present — we must simply purify the heart:

    “The kingdom of heaven is within you. Cleanse yourself, and you will see the throne of grace in your heart.”
    — St. Isaac the Syrian

    ☀️ Near-Death Experiences: The Veil is Lifted

    In near-death experiences (NDEs), many describe not discovering God, but remembering God — as if waking from amnesia. These accounts often sound remarkably similar to mystical theology, reinforcing the idea that we are never truly separate from God.

    🔸 Return to Divine Presence

    “I didn’t go somewhere else — I remembered who I was. I realized I’d never really left God. I had just forgotten.”
    — Anita Moorjani (NDE survivor)

    “It felt like going home, not to a place, but to a being — to love itself. I realized we are never separated from God, only unaware.”
    — Dr. Eben Alexander (Proof of Heaven)

    🔸 Loss of Ego Reveals Union

    “When my ego fell away, all that was left was light — and that light was love. It was not outside me. It was me, and more.”
    — NDERF account

    “The veil of forgetfulness is what separates us from the Divine. But it’s so thin — one breath and it’s gone.”
    — Howard Storm (atheist professor turned Christian after NDE)

    🔗 Conclusion: Orthodoxy + Mysticism + NDEs = Remembering Our True Union

    Whether in the ancient teachings of Orthodox saints, the ecstatic insights of Christian mystics, or the soul-stirring accounts of near-death experiencers, the message is the same:

    • The soul is already united with God.
    • Separation is an illusion caused by forgetfulness or ego.
    • Spiritual awakening is about remembering who we are — and who God has always been to us.

    “You were never truly separated from God. You just forgot who you are.”

  • is it compatible with Christianity to think it’s only an illusion that we are separate from God, other people, and creation? The illusion of separation and illusion of duality

    The “illusion of separation” is an idea that can be made compatible with Christianity, though it requires interpreting some Christian concepts in a more mystical or contemplative way.

    What the “Illusion of Separation” Means

    In the afterlife/NDE (near-death experience) or spiritual awakening community, the illusion of separation typically refers to the mistaken belief that:

    • We are separate from God
    • We are separate from each other
    • We are separate from the whole of creation

    This idea comes from the sense that, at a soul level, all is one — that we are always united with divine love, but we forget or are unaware of this unity while in the physical, ego-centered world.

    Christianity and the Illusion of Separation

    Traditional Christianity doesn’t use the phrase “illusion of separation,” but many of its deeper teachings align with it, especially in mystical and contemplative traditions. Here’s how:

    1. Imago Dei (Image of God)

    Genesis 1:27 says humans are made in the image of God. This implies an inherent connection, not distance. The Eastern Orthodox tradition especially emphasizes the divine spark within. Jesus even made reference to this spark within humans when he said “ye are gods’, in response to naysayers saying that he shouldn’t reference himself as the Son of God.

    2. God’s Immanence and Omnipresence

    Christianity teaches that God is everywhere and that we “live and move and have our being” in Him (Acts 17:28). This means separation is not ultimate, even if it feels real.

    3. Mystical Union with God

    Christian mystics like St. John of the Cross, Meister Eckhart, and St. Teresa of Avila describe the soul’s journey as one of reuniting with God — but often say this union was never truly lost, only hidden.

    • For example, Julian of Norwich wrote:
      “We are not just made by God, we are made of God.”

    4. The Fall as a Loss of Awareness

    The story of Adam and Eve is often interpreted as a fall into duality — a state of being where we believe we’re separate from God. Jesus, then, is seen as the one who reveals the truth of our ongoing union with the Father.

    • Luke 17:21: “The kingdom of God is within you.”

    5. Jesus as the Bridge — or Reminder

    Christians see Jesus as the one who restores the broken relationship between humanity and God. In mystical terms, He can also be seen as one who reveals that the separation was never absolute — it was our sin, fear, and ignorance that made it seem so.

    Possible Points of Tension

    Some Christians may object to the idea that separation is an “illusion,” especially if it seems to downplay:

    • The reality of sin
    • The need for redemption
    • The distinction between Creator and creation

    But mystical Christianity doesn’t deny these — it reframes them. Sin becomes not just rule-breaking, but forgetfulness of who we are in God. Salvation becomes a waking up to divine love.

    Summary

    ConceptNDE/Spiritual ViewCompatible Christian View
    Illusion of SeparationWe’re never truly apart from God or each otherGod is always present; union is our true state (Acts 17:28, mystics)
    SinForgetting our divine natureMissing the mark, living unaware of God’s love
    SalvationRemembering who we really areReconciliation, restoration, waking up to grace
    Ego vs. SoulEgo believes in separation“Die to self” (Luke 9:23), “Christ lives in me” (Gal. 2:20)

    If you’re leaning toward a synthesis of Christian spirituality with unitive or mystical experience, this concept could deepen your understanding of grace, love, and the human journey. You’re not abandoning Christianity — you’re plumbing its mystical depths.

  • Some themes taught to us by near-death experiences and how they reconcile with Christian teachings

    -Near Death Experiences (NDEs), individuals report a strong sense of having a mission or purpose—something they need to accomplish upon returning to life. This mission often becomes a pivotal reason why they are “sent back” or choose to return. Here are some recurring themes regarding this “mission” across NDE accounts:

    ⸻

    1. Service to Others

    Many experiencers are told or intuitively sense that their purpose involves helping others—whether through love, healing, teaching, or simply being a presence of compassion in the world. • Example: “You must return and help others awaken.” • Common roles: caregiver, teacher, counselor, peacemaker.

    ⸻

    2. Spiritual Growth or Learning

    Some are told their soul hasn’t completed its lessons. Their mission is to continue learning through human experiences like love, loss, patience, or forgiveness. • Example: “You haven’t yet learned what you came to learn.” • This ties to the idea of Earth as a school for the soul.

    ⸻

    3. Sharing the Experience

    A significant number of NDErs feel compelled to share what they saw—often about the reality of the afterlife, the existence of unconditional love, and the illusion of separation. • They might write books, speak publicly, or simply become more open about spirituality in everyday life.

    ⸻

    4. Being a Light in Darkness

    Even without a concrete task, some are told to “just be”—radiate love, live authentically, and influence others through presence rather than action. • Example: “Your light is needed.”

    ⸻

    5. Specific Tasks or Visions

    Occasionally, experiencers receive detailed instructions or visions about future events, inventions, social movements, or even warnings of global challenges. • This happens more often in prophetic NDEs (e.g., Dannion Brinkley’s experience).

    ⸻

    6. A Mission Without Words

    Some say they weren’t given a verbal message, but returned with a deep knowing—a soul-level compass pointing toward their life’s purpose

    Christian tie in

    This rich pattern of *mission-oriented near-death experiences (NDEs)* finds strong resonance with Christian theology and biblical teachings. While the Bible doesn’t directly describe NDEs in modern terms, many of the **themes NDErs report—mission, love, learning, light, and purpose—are deeply woven into Scripture** and Christian understanding of life, death, and the soul’s journey.

    Here’s how each of these NDE mission themes connects to the Bible and Christian theology:

    —

    NDE Connection to Christianity:

    ### **1. Service to Others**

    > *“You must return and help others awaken.”*

    **Biblical tie-in:**

    * Jesus models and commands service:

      > “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve…” — *Matthew 20:28*

      > “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” — *John 13:34*

    * Paul teaches the use of spiritual gifts for building up others:

      > “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others…” — *1 Peter 4:10*

    **Theological insight:**

    In Christianity, love is not just an emotion—it’s mission. NDE accounts of being sent back to serve align with the *agape* love central to Christian ethics. Returning NDErs often embody the *diakonia* (Greek for “service”) at the heart of Christian discipleship.

    —

    ### **2. Spiritual Growth or Learning**

    > *“You haven’t yet learned what you came to learn.”*

    **Biblical tie-in:**

    * Earthly life is a refining journey:

      > “Consider it pure joy… whenever you face trials… because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” — *James 1:2–4*

    * Growth in virtues like patience, forgiveness, humility is part of sanctification:

      > “Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” — *2 Peter 3:18*

    **Theological insight:**

    Christian theology speaks of *theosis* (in the Eastern tradition)—the lifelong process of becoming like God. NDE accounts that frame life as a “school for the soul” echo this understanding of *spiritual maturation* through earthly experience. Earth becomes a sacred space for the soul’s transformation.

    —

    ### **3. Sharing the Experience**

    > *“They feel compelled to share what they saw.”*

    **Biblical tie-in:**

    * The apostles’ encounters with the risen Christ compelled testimony:

      > “We cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.” — *Acts 4:20*

    * Paul’s own “caught up to the third heaven” experience (possibly an NDE-like vision):

      > “Whether in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows.” — *2 Corinthians 12:2–4*

    **Theological insight:**

    The pattern of divine encounter leading to testimony mirrors the prophetic tradition. Many NDErs echo biblical prophets and apostles who felt divinely called to share what was revealed to them—not to prove a doctrine, but to awaken others to God’s reality, love, and nearness.

    —

    ### **4. Being a Light in Darkness**

    > *“Just be—your light is needed.”*

    **Biblical tie-in:**

    * Jesus:

      > “You are the light of the world… let your light shine before others.” — *Matthew 5:14–16*

    * Paul:

      > “Live as children of light.” — *Ephesians 5:8*

    **Theological insight:**

    This reflects the contemplative stream of Christianity—*being* as mission. Saints and mystics (e.g., St. Seraphim of Sarov) taught that radiating God’s presence transforms the world quietly but powerfully. In this view, the soul itself becomes a *sacrament*—a visible sign of divine grace.

    —

    ### **5. Specific Tasks or Visions**

    > *“Some are shown future events or inventions.”*

    **Biblical tie-in:**

    * Prophets were given visions of future social, personal, or global events:

      > “In the last days… your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.” — *Acts 2:17*, quoting *Joel 2:28*

    * Joseph and Daniel received detailed visions from God about future events.

    **Theological insight:**

    Prophetic NDEs resemble *charismatic gifts* described in the New Testament. Though not normative for all Christians, these are biblically affirmed as authentic means through which God communicates purpose, warning, and direction.

    —

    ### **6. A Mission Without Words**

    > *“Returned with a deep knowing—a soul-level compass.”*

    **Biblical tie-in:**

    * The Holy Spirit guides from within:

      > “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit…” — *Romans 8:16*

      > “You will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” — *Isaiah 30:21*

    **Theological insight:**

    Christian mysticism emphasizes this *inner knowing*—not always through external messages but through what theologians like Augustine and Aquinas called the *interior teacher* (magister interior). Many NDErs describe returning with this Spirit-infused compass, resonating with this theology.

    —

    ### 🔄 Summary:

    The missions revealed in NDEs—service, spiritual growth, testimony, presence, prophecy, and intuitive guidance—*strongly echo the Christian calling*. Whether through word, action, or inner transformation, they reflect the heart of Scripture’s teaching: that life is sacred, purposeful, and aimed toward union with divine love.

  • Do we live in a Duality or is it an Illusion of Duality? Light versus dark, good versus evil. Or Is dark just the absence of light?

    Do we live in a Duality or is it an Illusion of Duality? Light versus dark, good versus evil. Or Is dark just the absence of light?

    Can humans Live Without the Illusion of Duality?

    This question—Can humans experience life without the illusion of duality?—strikes at the very heart of contemplative practice, mystical experience, and the deepest aims of philosophy and spirituality.

    Short Answer:
    Yes—partially, temporarily, or indirectly. Throughout history, humans have pierced the illusion of separateness, but sustaining that clarity in the midst of embodied, sensory, ego-bound existence is exceedingly rare, perhaps impossible in a lasting way.

    🕊️ Glimpses of Non-Dual Awareness

    Mystical experiences are among the most powerful glimpses of unity. Across traditions, individuals report moments when the boundaries of self vanish and all is experienced as One:

    • Christian mystics like Julian of Norwich and Meister Eckhart described total union with God.
    • Sufi poets such as Rumi spoke of dissolving into divine love.
    • Buddhist practitioners have long pursued satori or non-dual awareness—states beyond subject and object.
    • Near-death experiencers often recount merging with a luminous presence that feels indivisible from all being.

    Deep meditation and psychedelics can also erode the usual partitions of perception, time, and identity, opening what feels like a clear window onto reality without concepts.

    Radical moments of love, presence, or awe—birth, death, grief, profound beauty—sometimes thin the illusion. For an instant, we touch something more real than our ordinary stories.

    ⚖️ Why We Keep Returning to Duality

    Even after a taste of wholeness, we return to dual perception because it is hardwired:

    • Evolution taught us to differentiate self and other, safe and dangerous, mine and yours.
    • Language itself encodes binary thinking.
    • The ego’s function is to maintain the boundary of personal identity.

    This isn’t a flaw—it’s a feature of being human. The mind eventually reasserts itself, labeling, evaluating, comparing. That reentry is normal.

    🪞 Living Aware of the Illusion

    Though permanent non-dual awareness may not be realistic, we can see through duality even as we participate in it. This is the path of the contemplative, the mystic, the awakened soul:

    • Recognizing separation is a lens, not the truth itself.
    • Cultivating compassion, knowing no one is truly “other.”
    • Loosening the hold of ego and judgment, remembering that division is provisional.
    • Deepening presence, where the illusion grows thin.

    As the Bhagavad Gita says, “He who sees action in inaction and inaction in action is truly wise.” Or as Christ taught, we can be in the world but not of it.

    🔥 The Paradox of Suffering

    Suffering itself is perhaps the most powerful proof of the illusion of duality.

    Suffering arises in the mind from:

    • The feeling of being separate from love, meaning, or wholeness.
    • The tension of craving and aversion—wanting reality to be other than it is.
    • Judging experiences as wrong, unjust, meaningless.
    • Believing pain is final, rather than part of a larger transformation.

    Non-dual awareness doesn’t erase pain but recontextualizes it—revealing it as a phenomenon within a field of wholeness. The friction becomes less about alienation and more about growing into what is already true.

    🧘 Traditions That Frame Suffering as Illusory

    Buddhism:
    The Buddha taught that the root of suffering (dukkha) is clinging to illusions, especially the illusion of an independent, unchanging self. Enlightenment is not the end of pain but the end of delusion—the insight that even suffering isn’t ultimately real.

    Christian Mysticism:
    Julian of Norwich wrote, “Sin is behovely [necessary], but all shall be well.” Even suffering and evil, she saw, serve a hidden purpose within divine love. Christ’s passion becomes redemptive because it reveals that pain can be transformed by love.

    Near-Death Experiences:
    Many who return from NDEs say, “Even my greatest suffering made sense—it was part of a tapestry.” What once seemed meaningless became, in the light of wholeness, a teacher and a bridge.

    🌗 Suffering as the Shadow of Light

    You once said that duality is the illusion cast by contrast. Building on that:

    Suffering may be the shadow thrown by our resistance to the Light—a friction that arises when we forget our unity.

    Seen this way, pain is not meaningless but a messenger, inviting us back to the awareness of wholeness.

    ⚖️ The Danger of Bypassing

    It is important to remember that saying “suffering is illusion” can become spiritual bypassing—a way to avoid pain rather than honor it.

    Philosophy becomes escapism when it:

    • Minimizes or dismisses real trauma.
    • Abstracts pain so far that it loses contact with lived experience.
    • Invalidates grief or injustice.

    But true inquiry and mystical insight do not deny suffering—they frame it, so it can be met with courage and compassion.

    ✨ The Example of Christ

    Christ did not philosophize suffering away.
    He entered it fully.
    He wept.
    He cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
    But even in that cry, He entrusted His spirit to the Father.

    That is not escapism. That is transcendence through intimacy with pain.

    🌌 The Invitation

    You are not simply theorizing. You are asking these questions experientially, seeking to live in a way that sees through illusion without dismissing the reality of human feeling.

    Suffering is not the absence of light but the illusion that we are cut off from it.

    You are not far from that understanding—and from the compassion it unlocks.

  • Sacred Stillness: A Framework for Flourishing through Presence, Boundaries, and Renewal

    **Sacred Stillness: A Framework for Flourishing through Presence, Boundaries, and Renewal**

    Here’s a synthesis that weaves together **Matthew Kelly’s “carefree timelessness,” the philosophy of “just being,” healthy boundaries, and the example of Jesus withdrawing for solitude**, into one cohesive spiritual-psychological framework:—### 🌿

    At the heart of the good life—emotionally, spiritually, and relationally—is **presence**. Matthew Kelly’s idea of *carefree timelessness* points to those moments where we are fully alive, untethered from the clock, and immersed in **love, rest, or joy**. These moments are often:

    * Unscheduled but meaningful

    * Rooted in deep connection (to others, God, or self)

    * Undisturbed by performance pressure or productivity metrics

    #### 🧘 “Just Being” and the Depth of Meaning

    This overlaps beautifully with the spiritual insight that **meaning can be found in “just being.”** Not everything needs to be fixed, earned, or accomplished. Simply **being present**—to yourself, to another, to the beauty around you—is enough. This echoes:

    * **Mystical Christianity**: “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

    * **Existentialism**: Finding meaning not just in action but in *existence*

    * **Positive psychology**: Flow states and mindful presence increase well-being

    But for presence to be sustainable and healing, it must be protected.

    ### 🚪 Boundaries: The Gatekeepers of Inner Peace

    Without boundaries, we are pulled into other people’s chaos, expectations, and demands. We become **chronically reactive**, not present. Boundaries are not about selfishness; they are about **preserving the sacred space where love, connection, and being can flourish.*** Emotionally, boundaries allow us to remain *whole*.* Spiritually, they give us space to hear God and rest in grace.* Relationally, they create healthy dynamics where mutual respect can grow.**Even Jesus—infinitely compassionate—had boundaries:

    *** He withdrew to pray alone, often early or in hidden places.

    * He didn’t heal everyone who asked.

    * He let the rich young ruler walk away.

    * He challenged the codependency of those who only sought miracles.In doing so, he modeled that **divine love does not mean infinite availability**.—

    ### 🔄 The Integration: A Life of Rhythmic Presence

    To integrate these ideas, think in terms of **rhythm**—an intentional alternation between engagement and withdrawal:

    | Mode | What It Cultivates || ————————— | ————————————————- || **Carefree Timelessness** | Intimacy, joy, play, emotional presence ||

    **Just Being** | Meaning, peace, self-acceptance, awareness of God ||

    **Healthy Boundaries** | Sustainability, clarity, freedom from resentment ||

    **Withdrawing to Recharge** | Renewal, discernment, spiritual depth |Together, they form a life that is:

    * **Spiritually grounded**

    * **Emotionally intelligent***

    **Mentally clear***

    **Relationally healthy**—

    ### ✨ In Practice:* Schedule time for **unstructured presence**—with a loved one or with God.* Honor your limits without guilt. Say no to preserve space for *being*.* View rest and solitude not as laziness, but as *sacred preparation* for love and service.* Notice when your spirit feels *crowded*, and reclaim your inner stillness.—

    ### Final ThoughtYou were made not just to *do*, but to *be*. And being—when honored with boundaries, practiced with presence, and nourished in love—is where your deepest meaning is found.

  • unteachable lessons: christian spirituality and the wisdom of the afterlife cannot always be taught with words – often it must be experienced through living.

    Often words get in the way.

    This captures something essential about the paradox of spiritual formation—how the most transformative lessons aren’t taught in a classroom or written in a manual but are lived into, often through tension, mystery, and what feels like failure or unknowing.

    Unteachable Lessons

    Some lessons cannot be taught—they can only be lived. This is the paradox at the heart of Christian spirituality, the journey of faith, and the wisdom echoed in near-death experiences (NDEs). Words can point to truth, but they are only fingers pointing at the moon. They are not the moon.

    Like an artist who cannot explain their work except through the work itself, spiritual truth often eludes explanation. You cannot know what it feels like to ride a bike until you’ve ridden it. In the same way, you cannot know the depths of compassion, surrender, or divine presence simply by reading about them.

    Near-death experiences affirm this: this life is a school, not of information, but of transformation. In the most general sense, this life is about ‘experience’ – we are the universe experiencing and discovering itself, and we are co-creators in the canvass of the universe. It’s also a crash course in learning through the illusion of separation, where the very fabric of life’s complication and chaos becomes the context for spiritual growth. In this world, we face what cannot be planned. We are given the opportunity not just to hear about love or trust, but to be broken open by them. We cant just be taught this stuff in the afterlife, we learn by experiencing… that’s why the opportunity to live this life is so important, and it’s why reports of souls being keen to live this life is so important to them, it’s a crash course in spiritual development.

    When we possess knowledge or wisdom in a more spiritually developed sense, all we can do as Christians is plant a seed in others. As is often mentioned in christian spirituality. Such as spreading the gospel, but also even extending to all aspects of spiritual life.

    As was taught in the book “unteachable lessons”, the author explains, ”i wish i could explain it. I wish i could analyze the process and chart the step by step journey from narcissism to compassion. But it isn’t anything that neat and tidy, and there’s no making it tidy, either” “{…} there’s no building this down to ‘seven steps to learn compassion’ or ‘action plans for a post selfish life’. Some lessons are simply unteachable lessons. “I’ve come to see that unteachable lessons are available to just about all of us- and i suspect that the more we need these unteachable lessons, the more likely they are to show up in our lives. Maybe they don’t always entail suffering and loss, but I suspect they always involve some sort of deep interior transformation that is messy and just can’t be put into words.

    These are the lessons taught to  us in silence, and the curriculum is life, the syllabus is nothing more than our willingness to be present.”

    These are truths learned not by the mind alone, but by the soul—truths carved in silence, written in the ink of lived experience.

  • A Philosophical Contrast: Christianity vs. Buddhism on Suffering and Love

    **A Philosophical Contrast: Christianity vs. Buddhism on Suffering and Love**

    Buddhism, in its purest form, is fundamentally about transcending suffering. The Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path are oriented toward liberating the individual from *dukkha* (suffering) through detachment, mindfulness, and enlightenment. While compassion (karuṇā) and loving-kindness (mettā) are core virtues, the ultimate goal is personal liberation from the cycle of rebirth. Helping others is virtuous but often secondary to achieving one’s own enlightenment.

    Christianity, by contrast, sees suffering not merely as something to transcend but often as something to embrace for the sake of others. At its core, Christianity is not about gratuitous suffering, but about redemptive suffering—choosing to endure pain or difficulty for the sake of love. This is exemplified most vividly in Christ’s crucifixion, where suffering is not only embraced but transformed into the highest act of love.What sets Christianity apart—and arguably makes it a more complete moral worldview—is its prioritization of **self-giving love** (*agapē*). In Christianity, love is not merely one noble emotion among many, but the very essence of God (1 John 4:8) and the guiding principle of human life. Love gives meaning to suffering and demands action: sacrifice for one’s family, neighbor, even enemy. Without this willingness to suffer for the greater good, society and the individual do not mature.Thus, while Buddhism offers profound insights into the nature of suffering and mindfulness, it may fall short as a comprehensive moral framework because it ultimately aims to avoid or transcend suffering rather than embrace it for others’ sake. Christianity, grounded in the transformative power of love, sees such suffering as not only meaningful but necessary for spiritual growth, communal well-being, and the flourishing of human dignity

  • There’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

    “We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough, and we’ll be more content when they are.
    After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our partner gets his or her act together when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice holiday, when we retire.
    The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
    Your life will always be filled with challenges.
    It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
    A quote comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said,
    “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
    This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
    So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time…and remember that time waits for no one.
    So, stop waiting until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until winter, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink…. there is no better time than right now to be happy.
    Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
    Work like you don’t need money,
    Love like you’ve never been hurt,
    And dance like no one’s watching.”

    1. NDE Philosophy: Living in the Eternal Now

    People who have NDEs often return with a deeply transformed view of time and purpose. They frequently report that:

    • Time as we know it feels illusory in the spiritual realm. The present is all that truly exists.
    • Unconditional love, joy, and meaning are accessible now, not delayed until future milestones.
    • Life’s purpose is not about achieving but about being: being loving, present, awake.

    This aligns directly with:

    “The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?”

    Many NDErs realize that the frantic striving we engage in—waiting for the “right” time to live or be joyful—is an illusion. Real life is happening now, and soul-growth occurs not in ideal conditions, but through our response to imperfection and challenge.

    They come back knowing:

    “These obstacles were my life.”
    The journey, with its hardship, is the sacred process.

    2. Christian Spirituality: Joy in the Present, Trust in God’s Providence

    Christian spirituality teaches a similar theme: God is present here, now—not just in some idealized future.

    Biblical Verses That Echo These Themes:

    • Ecclesiastes 3:1, 12-13 “There is a time for everything… I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.”
      ➤ Life’s beauty is not in waiting, but in embracing each season with gratitude.
    • Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
      ➤ Jesus calls us to be present, not paralyzed by an imagined future.
    • Philippians 4:11-13 “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances… I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
      ➤ True joy and contentment are found in Christ, not conditions.
    • Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
      ➤ Not tomorrow—this day is holy.

    3. The False Promise of “When…” and the Spiritual Illusion of Arrival

    “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin… then it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

    Both NDEs and Christian spirituality expose the lie that happiness or spiritual peace will “start” after we reach a milestone. This is a form of spiritual consumerism—treating peace and joy as a product to be earned, rather than a gift to be received.

    In NDE accounts, souls often learn that how we live—our intentions, love, compassion—is more important than what we achieve. This echoes the teaching of Jesus:

    • Luke 17:21 “The kingdom of God is within you.”
      ➤ The joy, peace, and divine connection we seek isn’t “out there”—it’s already available in the heart, right now.

    4. Embracing the Moment with Love and Courage

    “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”

    This line encapsulates Christian and NDE truth. Both affirm that:

    • The present is the only real opportunity we have to love.
    • Love is a verb—an action, a dance, a gift—not a future state.

    In fact, the most common message reported by people after NDEs is this:

    “What matters most is how we love each other. Love is the reason for everything.”

    So the exhortation to:

    “Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like no one’s watching…”

    …reflects kingdom living. Jesus’ entire ministry modeled joy in suffering, love in betrayal, and presence with the least and the lost.

    Final Synthesis:

    This is a profoundly spiritual wake-up call. It resonates with:

    • NDE insights: The sacredness of the moment, the call to live and love now, not later.
    • Christian wisdom: Contentment in God’s presence, trust amid trials, and love as the highest calling.
    • Biblical truth: Repeated emphasis that the “now” is holy ground.

    Encouragement for the Soul:

    So today—don’t wait for life to be perfect.
    Let love flow now. Let joy dance now.
    Let Christ be born in you today—not after the bills are paid or the kids behave.

    “Choose life so that you and your descendants may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19)

    And to borrow the words of Jesus:

    “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)

    That life begins not in some future ideal, but in the surrendered, radiant now.

  • The idea of developing “Christian spirituality” is essential to the inner lives of Christians – and shouldn’t be seen as “New agey” and taboo

    Spirituality that includes psychology like forming healthy relationships by avoiding toxic behaviors and setting boundaries and transcending the ego isn’t often talked about by Christianity but those forms of Spirituality are essential to develop when it comes to healthy christian relationships and christian spirituality in general. In fact the idea of christian spirituality is often seen as taboo by more fundamentalist and overly religious Christians

    This is touching on a deep and necessary critique that many thoughtful Christians—especially those engaged in psychology, pastoral care, or spiritual direction—are starting to voice more clearly.

    ### 1. **Neglect of the Inner Life in Some Christian Circles

    **Many forms of contemporary Christianity, particularly in more fundamentalist or dogmatic expressions, focus heavily on *beliefs, behaviors, and boundaries*—what to think, how to act, and what to avoid. While doctrine and moral guidance have their place, this framework often neglects:

    * **Emotional maturity***

    **Healthy relational patterns***

    **The role of trauma, attachment, or personality formation***

    **The transformation of the ego (not just its repression)

    **As a result, spiritual growth can become performative or stunted. People “act saved” but remain emotionally immature, reactive, codependent, or enmeshed in toxic relational patterns—something the early Church Fathers would have found deeply problematic.—

    ### 2. **The Need for Integration: Psychology + Christian Spirituality **Healthy Christian spirituality *should* include:

    * **Setting boundaries** (Jesus did this repeatedly—leaving crowds, rebuking Peter, confronting religious leaders)

    * **Recognizing and healing toxic behaviors** (especially those masked as “holiness”)*

    **Understanding ego** (the false self vs. true self—echoed in figures like St. Augustine, Thomas Merton, and Richard Rohr)*

    **Fostering secure, loving relationships** (as fruits of the Spirit and signs of sanctification)

    These are *not* secular distractions from faith; they are often *precisely* how grace works in real life.—

    ### 3. **Resistance from Fundamentalism**

    In many fundamentalist groups, this kind of talk is rejected or seen as:

    * “New Agey”

    * “Psychologizing the Gospel”

    * “Too focused on the self”

    But ironically, Jesus himself emphasized *heart transformation*, not just outward obedience. And Paul frequently wrote about renewing the mind, dying to the flesh (false ego), and growing into maturity in Christ.—

    ### 4. **The Taboo Around ‘Spirituality’**You’re also right that even the term **”Christian spirituality”** can feel taboo. It’s often associated with mysticism or contemplative traditions that more rigid churches find suspicious. But Christian spirituality is simply: *A lived relationship with God that integrates the whole person—heart, mind, body, and soul—into the likeness of Christ.*—

    ### 5. **A Better Vision: Wholeness and Holiness Together**You’re proposing a much-needed vision of **holistic discipleship**—where psychological health, emotional intelligence, and ego-transcendence are *not in conflict with* faith but part of how the Spirit transforms us. In other words:

    * Good boundaries ≠ selfishness

    * Inner healing ≠ naval-gazing

    * Emotional honesty ≠ spiritual weakness

    This is a kind of Christianity deeply rooted in love, truth, and actual transformation—not just belief statements or rule-following.

    —–

    ### **Reflection: The Spiritual Necessity of Emotional Maturity**

    For much of my life, I understood Christian spirituality in terms of beliefs, obedience, and outward morality. I thought being “spiritual” meant praying more, reading more Scripture, and avoiding sin. But something was missing. I noticed that many devout Christians—myself included—still struggled with broken relationships, defensiveness, manipulation, or burnout. There was faith, but little transformation.What I’ve come to see is that spirituality divorced from psychology is often shallow. Faith without emotional health creates people who might say the right things about God, but live out distorted versions of love—codependent, controlling, avoidant, or repressed. Jesus didn’t just come to correct our theology. He came to heal the heart, to make us whole. He modeled boundaries when he walked away from crowds or confronted manipulation. He saw through false piety. He invited people into an inner revolution—a death of the false self, and a resurrection into something more spacious, humble, and free.

    Yet, in many corners of Christianity, the language of boundaries, ego transcendence, or emotional health is treated with suspicion—as if it dilutes the Gospel. But the truth is, we can’t love our neighbor well if we don’t know where we end and they begin. We can’t embody grace if we’re controlled by fear, resentment, or unresolved wounds. We can’t be vessels of Christ’s peace if we’ve never learned to make peace with ourselves.

    I now believe that spiritual maturity *requires* emotional maturity. To grow in Christ is to become more grounded, more truthful, more able to both give and receive love without distortion. It means recognizing the ego’s games, the masks we wear, and the subtle ways we try to earn love or control others.

    This is not self-help. It’s self-surrender—offering not just our sins to God, but our wounds, patterns, and false selves.

    So now, when I speak of Christian spirituality, I no longer mean just theology or ritual. I mean the slow, Spirit-led journey toward wholeness. A life where faith and psychology meet. Where love is not just a command, but a capacity we develop with grace. Where holiness includes honesty. And where we remember that God desires not just our compliance—but our transformation.—